This afternoon I watched Dr. Phil. He was differentiating aggression and assertiveness. He said aggression was defending your rights at the expense of the rights of others. Assertiveness is defending your rights without infringement on the rights of others. Little did I know that snippet of wisdom would be illustrated in my life an hour or two later.
Chris has already written up the events of the day, so if you follow Pavements Edge, please forgive me for repeating.
The Back Story
Our youngest and I ran to the store this afternoon on the Ute to pick up a few groceries. Our trek takes us through our neighborhood to 57th Ave (which has bike lanes) to a shopping center. We cut through the parking lots to a light to a second parking lot to a light to the King Sooper parking lot. This path keeps us off major roads and we pedal through these lots that are NEVER busy. Our trip to the grocery was uneventful. As we locked up the bike I noticed nasty black clouds to our west. We sped through the store and used the self check out to get going ASAP. Loaded and off we headed toward home. Our first stop was the intersection at the King Sooper lot and Independence. This intersection contains to eastbound lanes. One for left turns and one for going straight or making a right. I was going straight to the next lot and in that lane. I take the lane at these intersections because people will try to squeeze around me unsafely and I had my 4 year old. I like to be safe, especially with her. I hadn't been there but 10 seconds when the rain started and a white Mazda pulls up, immediately blowing her horn at me. She then screams out her window, "get out of the way!"...I wasn't in the way. I was right where I was supposed to be. IF I had been a car, she would have been in the same predicament. I shook my head no and waited. She continued to lay on the horn and scream at me. (Using obscenities, I might add. Nasty 4-lettered F words even!) I shook my head no again and yelled back that I had the right of way. She continued to lay on her horn and I waited for the light. Only a few seconds later the light changed. I entered the intersection and as she turned right she screamed at me, "You better move next time or I will make you move!"
I was so mad when I got home I shook for 15 minutes. Chris explained to me what she did was harassment and if I had gotten her license plate number she could have been charged with a misdemeanor. I didn't have a chance of course to get the plate number. I doubt I will ever forget what she looked like, so you never know, I might get it next trip to the store.
Back to Dr. Phil
She was a fabulous example of an aggressive person. You think she has the Warrior Gene? Pavements Edge calls people like her a motofascist. MFers for short. I'm not sure what she was going to accomplish by bullying me but I asserted myself so that I didn't get injured or give up my place on the road. Another key difference in aggression and assertion is the rationality of the person in the situation. I'd like to think I kept my cool. She did not. Let's hope when next we meet, she is in a better mood.
